Category: Truth

Why You Don’t Need To Be Strong

What is strength?

A lot of us had to be strong simply because there was no-one there to support or protect us.

We had to be strong because being vulnerable caused us to feel humiliated, to be called weak. We experienced people enjoying looking down on us.

So we rose up. We’d never be “weak”, we’d be strong!

But it is…unfair. You don’t need to be ‚Äústrong”, you should have access to support and assistance.

People can be there for you, they can hold you in all of your pain, they can stay where others have gone.

And because you are strong, do not feel you need to keep giving your strength to others because “they need it more than you do”.

Your strength is for you, it is not a debt to assist others.

Others may be inspired by it, but they also may resent you for it simply because they don’t yet know their own strength. So, let them learn that in their own time.

Do not buy their sympathy by offering your strength to them.

Many will lean on your strength as a way of avoiding knowing their own.

Learn how to empower them by not diminishing yourself. Allow them to take it or leave it as they please.

Don’t let others shame you into being used for your strength.

They will grow without you (and in some cases only without you!).

And always remember that your strength is perfectly compatible with your sweet vulnerability and that you absolutely do not have to be strong for anyone anymore.

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The Fall Of Patriarchy Puts Men Back In Their Real Power

The fall of patriarchy is sweet. Not just for women, but surprisingly also for men – perhaps even more so for them, since their suffering’s been hidden under the cover of their “superior” societal status!

Men who do not get abused (dominated) by their fathers do not have a shaky self-concept, that sense that they need to “earn” their stripes of “manhood”, and therefore they do not end up having to also adopt dominance as their claim to worth and personal power.

Dominance is just a defence mechanism.

A defence mechanism that protects people from shame. Because they already are “infected” with that shame that they’re trying to manage through dominating others. Dominance is always a triggered state, always a response to a perceived shaming behaviour; like another man “daring” to rise above, achieve better, claim more (perceived as a challenge) or a woman who feels herself as equal and doesn’t display submission/fear of men (perceived as disrespect).

But a man’s self-worth isn’t a challenge and a woman’s fear isn’t respect.

In reality men have NOTHING to lose by escaping dominance tactics (since they subconsciously feel like impostors that have to hide their true selves from the world and never feel they actually deserve to be loved) and everything to gain (the love that comes with true connection and the actual freedom to be themselves when coming out of the shadow of abusive fathers/culture).

Masculinity is beautiful. And it is 100% not dominance. The marking difference is love. Masculinity does not violate, it champions.

Dominance is only concerned with keeping itself up on a pedestal, does not have the space to take in anything external (since it threatens its ego and it can’t tolerate it), it is isolated, extremely frightened, disconnected, unpredictable, damaging. Masculinity creates a protective embrace, compassionately listens, lovingly supports, it’s inspired, benevolent, heart-bursting, life-changing, and empowering.

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